No matter how self-confident we are, we all sometimes fall into the trap of measuring others’ success up against our own. Not all forms of comparison are bad, of course - sometimes putting things in perspective can be beneficial.
It is crucial to be able to recognise when healthy, casual comparison transforms into the toxic kind. Excessive comparing yourself to others can lead to burnout at work and contribute to increased stress levels - both are things we could all do without in our lives. The statistics about stress and burnout in the workplace are upsetting enough already:
How to make sure we don’t give in to this overwhelming need to set ourselves up against others, then? There are certain things to keep in mind when doubts creep in and you find yourself comparing yourself to your colleagues:
- Everybody is different
- Everyone has different tasks they complete at a different pace
- Some efforts are easier to notice than others
- Some people are louder about their achievements than others
- Everybody's point of view is different
- We never know what others' lives are like
- Maintain your perspective
- Know your value
1. Everybody is different
The cool thing about people is that everyone is gifted with a different talent. A business can only run if it’s powered by employees with various strengths and operating in different domains.
Imagine a company exclusively hiring employees who are good with calculations but are not incredibly creative. Their accounting would thrive, but marketing, which needs large doses of creativity, would probably struggle.
And vice versa: a business hiring just creative minds who don’t shine in the mathematical domain would plummet within a day of its existence.
Due to the variety of positions in an average workplace, we might sometimes feel like what we’re doing isn’t exactly as exciting as we’d originally thought. There will be people in other roles that could seem so much cooler - new, innovative jobs pop up all the time, after all.
And if you really feel like there is something else you might feel happier doing, go for it. A career change is possible at every stage of our lives. But only do that if you’re motivated by the job itself - not by fleeting envy.
2. Everyone has different tasks they complete at a different pace
Your tasks were given to you, and your colleagues’ tasks were distributed among them for a reason. Your managers know you and are perfectly aware of who has the best predispositions for performing particular activities.
If your task is more time-consuming, it means that whoever charged you with it admires your organisation skills and knows you can handle long-term work. Don’t compare yourself to someone else who’s meeting a goal that can be achieved in a much shorter time. The work both of you perform is equally important, but it has a very different scope.
Even if you’re working on the same project with someone and they seem to be doing their part much faster - everyone works differently. As long as you’re meeting your deadlines and aren’t upsetting your boss, keep the pace you’re comfortable in.
Good work shouldn’t be rushed, and its quality should never be sacrificed for the sake of winning an imaginary race against a coworker.
3. Some efforts are easier to notice than others
Success is measured in different ways - in some positions, results are more tangible than in others. You can easily count the number of leads a Sales Representative has generated or how many sales they have made over a certain period. You can also watch the number of your followers grow thanks to the efforts of your Social Media Manager.
But there are also more “quiet” roles. The entire company might not necessarily know about a technical issue a member of the IT Team has solved, or a great solution they have developed that will improve the website’s performance because they simply don’t understand the domain well enough.
Not everyone will be aware of the great efforts their SEO Specialist is making every day in order to raise the Domain Authority of their company by another 1% or boost its website in the rankings.
Some roles receive less applause than others. And that’s okay. Focus on the appraisal you receive directly from your manager and the team members you work the closest with - those who understand the impact of your work and therefore can acknowledge it.
Important: if you don’t feel satisfied with the support and feedback you receive from those who are responsible for giving it to you, communicate it. Being okay with having assumed a role that comes with less public fanfare doesn’t mean receiving no pats on the back at all.
4. Some people are louder about their achievements than others
Again - and we cannot stress this enough - we as humans all work differently. Some of us need more verbal praise, while others don’t feel comfortable receiving public compliments.
The difficult part is that those on the opposite ends of the spectrum can often find the other category annoying. That’s completely normal.
Think about it this way: maybe someone who’s being particularly loud about their achievements and constantly seeks attention is doing this for a reason. Perhaps they feel underrated and what seems like arrogance might actually be insecurity.
It all comes down to communication. A manager should know their team and be able to sense what kind of support everyone needs. But they’re also only human - if they have misjudged your preferences, or if you feel like they are favouring a particular person, communicate it.
Suppressed bitterness leads to a toxic atmosphere in the workplace - you might feel like you’re concealing your resentment well enough, but the truth is, it will always find a way to leak out. Talking things out when it all becomes too much is in your interest, too.
5. Everybody’s point of view is different
How you see your job is probably very different from how others see it. What is an obvious, easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy task for you might (and probably does) seem impressive to your colleagues.
We tend to take things we are used to for granted. If you do coding for a living, rows of complicated commands and numbers have most likely become like a second language by now. If accounting is your daily bread, keeping up with stacks of urgent documents and performing advanced calculations is no longer something you consider awe-inspiring.
Talk to your coworkers. Learn all about what they are doing. Let them learn about what it is that you are doing. After all, you’re all equally important parts of the well-oiled machine that is your company, so having at least a basic understanding of everyone’s role is an advantage.
It’s easy to feel unappreciated when no one quite knows what you’re spending your days on. Being like Chandler Bing from Friends, whose job remained unknown even to his closest friends for more than ten years, has never made anyone happier. Opening up a little bit among the team can do wonders not just for your well-being, but the entire company’s spirits.
6. We never know what others’ lives are like
This is an incredibly important thing to keep in mind. It goes without saying that what can be seen on the surface can very often have nothing to do with what is actually going on inside someone’s soul.
Work is something else to literally everyone. For some, it’s a means to an end. For others, it’s the very reason they get out of bed in the morning. For others yet, it is an escape.
There are people who work to live, and there are people who live to work. Both approaches are perfectly fine, as long as a healthy balance can be found and the scale doesn’t tip too drastically onto one side.
Maybe someone you admire and can’t stop comparing yourself to shines at work because they’re trying to make up for their less-than-perfect private life. Perhaps the person whose success you envy is going through something and burying themselves in work is the only thing that keeps them going.
That is not to say that professional success always has to be the result of inner turmoil, but the leading thought here is that we should never assume. The wise thing to do is to always do our best, without worrying that our best might appear worse than someone else’s.
7. Maintain your perspective
A common thing to do when we compare ourselves to others is to lose sight of the bigger picture. Everybody comes from a different background, has different predispositions and goals.
Even if you put yourself next to someone you went to school with, who comes from the same neighbourhood and has obtained the same degree, your situation will never be 100% the same.
Don’t compare your experience of 5 years with somebody else’s experience of 10 years. Their success should not be a factor that upsets you, but a source of motivation. Instead of being jealous and bringing yourself down, turn them into your role model. Ask yourself what they have done to be where they are right now, and follow in their footsteps.
Perhaps you’re already further than they were at your stage. And even if not, create a game plan to get ahead. This will be much more beneficial than sulking and resenting them for the sole reason of their existence.
Even if your main source of motivation is the vision of rubbing the fact that you’ve gone further than them in their face in the future - although not noble - it is still better than being bitter now.
8. Know your value
Every time you feel irrelevant, go back to your recruitment process. Remember the interviews you’ve gone through. The fact that your CV got picked out of many others. Remember that it was your cover letter that sparked the Hiring Manager’s attention. And that, in the end, it was you who got the job.
No one else. You.
If you were somehow worse than any of your colleagues, they wouldn’t even be your colleagues in the first place. The fact that you hold your position at the company means that what you’re doing matters and that you’re good at it.
The last thing a boss needs is to keep employees who bring no value to the company on their payroll. The business world is brutal - it’s much easier to be let go than to get hired. A salary is not a charity donation. If you’re getting one, then it means you’ve earned it - and rightfully so.
If you got the job and are keeping the job, then you’re doing things right. Remember that whenever doubts creep in, threatening to make you question your worth in the workplace.
We are dealing with enough stress in our lives as it is. The stress resulting from outside factors unfortunately can’t be avoided, but we can help ourselves by not adding to it by comparing ourselves to others.
Again, it can be worth it to set up a certain standard level and strive towards first reaching and then maintaining it, but only in the terms of providing a satisfying, realistic performance. Keep in mind the differences between jobs, personalities, tasks, and points of view and adjust your goals accordingly.
Our life is already a race - we are constantly rushing towards something, trying to be better, smarter, faster in various areas. There is no need to apply it in the workplace as well.
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Natalia Mielniczuk1mo ago
Nice. Full of advice.
Nice. Full of advice.